Someone Always Tops Your Story
Ever thought 'bout how your problems, which you thought
    were just your own
Are the same as other people's, if the truth was only known?
Maybe not the same, exactly; but they're not so far apart
From someone else's bunion, failin' health, or broken heart.

Now, if you don't believe me, find somebody you can tell
'Bout how bad things are goin' since your luck fell in the well
They'll listen thirty seconds which allows them to compose
Their woeful tale of how the bloom has gone and left their rose.

Had a recent operation that you want to talk about?
It won't stack up too well 'long side their woeful case of gout.
The doctor says you're terminal, less than a year to go?
They'll answer, "Well, I died last month. Surprised you didn't know!"

The bank just called in all your notes? You're flat out, big-time broke?
"I went bankrupt three times last week!" they sorrowfully croak.
Your wife left with the hired man? Your son got thrown in jail?
They still can top your story. I've never seen it fail.

And that's why I'll be careful where I recite this poem aloud
'Cause when and if I do, there could be someone in the crowd
Who'll come up afterward and say, "Your poem was just fine.
But would you like to hear a good one? Let me recite you mine!"

"Someone Always Tops Your Story" 1994 Ray Owens